Can I Give My Newborn a Pacifier?

Normally, most of the babies would have strong sucking reflex, some babies has the habit of sucking their thumbs or fingers before they born. Beyond considered about the nutrition values sucking often has the soothing and calming effects. This is the main reason why parents prefer the pacifiers along with their diaper wiper.

But you would have an oscillation in your mind that whether you can use the pacifier for your newborn babies? Before finding out the answer for this question there is a need for you to know its positive side as well as its negative side only then you can decide whether to use or skip it off. 

Why to use?

  • Some babies would really feel happy when they are sucking on something.
  • The pacifier acts as the temporary distractions.
  • It has the power to make your baby to fall asleep.
  • It helps for reducing the risk of your sudden infant of death syndrome.
  • You can easily dispose them when its needs are fulfilled.

Why not to use?

  • It acts as interfere with your breast feeding and some babies are sensitive so they cannot adapt to it easily.
  • Your babies might get addicted or dependent on it and they love to use it always.
  • It might also increase out your risk of your middle ear infection.
  • Prolonged usage might lead to the dental problems.

Tips

  • You should wait until for few weeks to get well established results found in breastfeeding’s.
  • Don’t use the pacifier without knowing for what reason you are giving to your babies.
  • It is best choice for you to prefer the silicone one piece that adds safety.
  • There is a need for you to maintain it clean and don’t ever sugarcoat it.
  • After using it keep it in the safest place.

Even when it has lots of pro’s and con’s without knowing about how, why and necessity to use then it would create some problems. So before starting to use try to know everything about it and do some research works on it and start using it. When you have lots of confusions then get clarified them with your doctors and then start to use it and make your baby to feel pleasant that has the power to bring out a cute smile in the face of your pretty kids.

The best pacifier for breast feeding

Becoming a mother for the first time creates a golden opportunity for you because many people are longing to get that happiness in their life. So as a mother there is a need for you to choose all best things for your little charm.

When you are choosing the pacifiers there is a need for you to choose the best pacifier for breastfeeding. Here are few of the best pacifiers for breastfed your babies and make them to stay active.

 

Attractive MAM pacifiers

 

  • During night time you can easily find it because it has a glowing specialty during dark nights.
  • The outside handle would contain an adorable picture.
  • The shape is designed in the systematic method so that your nipple cannot be put in your baby’s mouth wrongly.
  • One can easily clean out the silicone pacifier easily through keeping them in microwave for three minutes. 

 

Impressive Philips avent soothie pacifier

 

  • The shape would be rounded and easy for you to use. The nipple mostly goes directly up and curves. 
  • You can easily clean it and use it.

 

Stylist Ecopiggy’s Ecopacifier

 

  • It acts as like a natural soother for your infant babies.
  • Free from the chemicals and colorants.
  • Free from the plastic, PVC and other unhygienic things 

 

Interesting Evenflo feeding

 

  • It is balanced up with the cylindrical pacifier and easy to maintain,
  • The silicone material remains to be best product and it includes the easy grip handles that would be good for mother as well as baby.
  • It is free from the BPA and polycarbonate and it is safe for your kids to make use of it.

 

Tommee tippe 

 

  • It is more closely resembles out a nursing nipple.
  • It holds the natural curves without any sharp angels.
  • It acts as a great plus for the mother who likes to transmit their baby from breast to pacifier. 
  • It comes out with the super soft silicone for providing the easier latching and natural skin like feelings.

 

NUK newborn 100% silicone Orthodontic pacifier

 

You can get them in four different sixes and most of the brand would offer three different sizes. So it suits for all types of babies who are under 26 month. That too the interesting fact is that you can buy based on that. 

Beyond its sizes the brand it claims for offering a truly orthodontic shape and it acts as a one piece for construction features with the asymmetrical shape that supports for the oral developments.

 

Fascinating bibs nature rubber baby

 

It provides the best comfortable situation for your babies. It acts as a best replacement for your breast to suckle. The shape and material imitate as like the mothers breast so your babies would really like that pacifier.

Like other kinds of the pacifiers it is designed in the safe to use manner and it contains a ring holds through using it you can hold it or attach a clip.

When your baby get comfortable situation sure they too would love and like to make use of it and stay happy and energetic always. 

How to predict more pacifiers?

You don’t want to feel oh my God! Only this many pacifiers are available for your babies because when you can make a search you can find out lots of best pacifier for breastfeeding products on online store and you can choose one from them and start using it. Before buying any product on online store check the customer reviews. 

Talk to Your Daughter About Shaving and Be Nice

Talking to your daughter about shaving certain hairs will be easy. Daughters are going to hit puberty sooner or later. You shouldn’t worry about it too much. This is a normal stage in their life. A time when they found out what love is and learn how to shave their body. You can teach them what they need to do to shave each part of their body. Even, tell them about why they need best shaving cream for bikini area on their skin. Tell them all the things they need to know and set them in the right path. Make sure they the know the consequences of what happens when they make the wrong decisions when shaving. Shaving hair on your skin is easy but it can get really ugly fast. Can get ugly really fast and all sorts of ways. Important to take your time and make sure the razor is not hurting you. See more below to get a start for telling her about shaving.

What Time Should You Talk About Shaving

best shaving cream for bikini area

The right time to talk about shaving is when you notice the signs that she needs to shave. This natually happens sometime in middle school. I will say in the 7th or 8th grade. he will be about 13 to 15 years old. This is when you need to tell her about shaving. Do not tell her when she is in elementary school. She is far too young to learn about that type of thing. She also needs to be a child and think the world is this beautiful Disney land place. The girl will have signs when she is ready. She will have hairs growing from her panties and may see something growing on her legs. The hair may be small to see. But, once it gets really long it is time to tell her about shaving. You know it is time when you talk to her and look at her close up. Then, it will be time to talk to her about it.

Furthermore, when you talk to her about shaving, you need to be nice about it. She is a little girl and does not know the harsh realities of life yet. The girl must be taught the lesson in a nice way. Yelling at her will make her think you don’t like her instead of learning the lesson. That is how children think. You must never forget she is a child. A child must be taught things the nice way in order for them to learn the best way. That is what worked for me. I am sure it will work for your daughter.

Razors Daughter Should Use

Razors your daughter should use should be for kids. Kids have skin that is softer then the skin you use. She is not an adult. Her skin is easier to cut hair and also easier to get scrapes. So, go to the store and look for a razor in the kid section. When she reaches the age of 16 and up, she may be ready for the adult razors. Strangely, the girl may want her private area shaved in middle school. Teach her to shave it with best shaving cream for bikini area that you can find for kids. Shaving cream is needed for you and so is it for her. Shaving cream makes the blade cut smoother and makes her feel no cuts from the blade. Inform her about the shaving cream and make sure she uses it every time she shaves. It may be wise to watch her the first few times shaving too. Kids never fully know what their doing until they practice and practice.

Safe Tips to Tell Her About Shaving

Tips you should tell your daughter for her own safety. Tip 1, never use razors with other people. You could catch a STD or a disease that can’t be cured. Tip 2, take your time when you shave. If you have to be in a hurry, make sure you set outside time to take care of that. It is ok to rush a little but but never rush to the point when you need something shave in 1 quick minute. That will always lead to disaster. No matter how you cut it. It will end up scratching and tearing the flesh. Blood will be every where.

Can Your Skin Care Routine Affect Your Pregnancy

Every pregnant women thinks her usual cleaning routine is safe for body but is it really safe? A woman walks to the mirror and add regular soap to stretch marks. The woman performs the same routine daily. Weeks go by, she realizes that there is something missing. The stretch marks seem to be getting worse and something else is amiss. She’s losing moisture in her whole body skin. She doesn’t understand why this is happening. But, I can tell you scientifically that she’s losing normal body moisturizer due to pregnancy. Bodily hormones are switching and forcing her skin to to become dryer. She needs to wear the best stretch mark prevention cream during pregnancy to have a chance at making those brown scars disappear. You should wear it too if you deal with pregnancy and here’s why below.

Wear Stretch Mark Cream for Pregnancy Scars

After you get pregnant, you get all these scars on your belly that needs treatment. At first, you might say to yourself that you don’t need to get treatment. But, this where you are so wrong. Your body is doing a lot of expanding. Stretching in places you wouldn’t think possible. Especially, in the area where you are going to have children. With all this in mind, consider wearing the best stretch mark prevention cream during pregnancy to get rid of scars. You can choose to ignore what I say, but you could end up with a big ugly scar. One that will stay with you for the next 20 years or so. The choice is yours.

Something extra to consider, a woman’s body during pregnancy gets dryer. You should use the same cream to apply to your face, arms, legs, stomach, and so forth. You don’t want your skin to look dry I suppose. Make sure you apply the cream to your whole body. Keep your body looking like its in its 20s after pregnancy. Don’t let your body to go down the old mom path. Take care of it.

Moisturize to Prevent Pregnant Skin From Itching

As you go through your pregnancy, you will experience tight and itchy skin. This is not something you want to experience. I suggest you wear some moisturizer to help you fight off the itchiness. You must realize that this is going to be a long journey. Having any help that can make it easier is needed. You can not give in to the itch and cause it to make you super annoyed. Wear the moisturizer and save yourself the trouble. It will feel weird to use it everyday, but you will get use to it and soon the itchiness will go away. You should do everything in your power to make the itchiness go away, because you have a baby on the way and that is enough pain. You don’t need any more ha ha.

Can Hair Treatment During Pregnancy Cause More Problems?

Hair treatment during pregnancy is not a bid deal or is it? For the most part, the chemicals found in hair dye and shampoos are harmless. Amounts can be absorbed into the body when your pregnant. But, those chemicals are in small amounts. To add, the chemicals will in no way reach the fetus. Your life is fully safe is you use hair dye and shampoo during pregnancy. Well, there are certain hair product situations you want to avoid to prevent a issue. Not something you need to know but read more down below to find out.

Take Precautions When Washing Hair

Washing your hair needs to be done well. Don’t go in that shower thinking you can just do anything when you’re pregnant. Being pregnant means hair is going to fall out if tampered too much. Again, make sure you don’t wash hair without doing the proper technique. What is the proper technique? Simply, wash hair with shampoo and so forth. Leave shampoo in your hair for a few minutes only. Then, wash hair out with water very through. Get in deep into the scalp and make sure every little soap piece is gone. Using safe hair dye for pregnancy and other hair products can give you a higher grade of hair treatment. Dye or shampoo created for pregnancy can be left in hair a little longer as well. Not all day though.

Equally important, pregnant hair is very frail. Strands are not too strong together. You need to be very careful with what you allow to touch your hair. A little hair pull to the right can cause your hair to lose hair follicles it can’t grow back. Could find yourself with no hair if you let people pull on it too tough. Be very protective of your hair. Let everyone around you know they can’t touch it. Hair stops growing at a certain age too. Regardless, keep your hair safe from everyone and bad interference.

Limit Exposure to Hair Treatment Chemicals

Wherever, make sure you limit contact with hair treatment chemicals. Doing this for a little time is not a big deal. But when you use hair products during pregnancy for long periods or touch, you are causing the scalp to get a weaker level of protection. Normally, your scalp is protected by natural lipids and oils. The oils break when exposed to hair chemicals for too long. Putting bluntly, wash your hair fast with any hair chemical. Safe hair dye for pregnancy you use for hair must also be washed with fast. Same applies to other hair products. You are a women that is pregnant. Remember the hair strands are weak and I mean very weak. Please wash hair fast with any hair product.

Consider Using Pure vegetables Dyes When Changing Hair Color

Scientist have figure out not too many years ago that pure vegetable dyes work well for pregnant women. Use this instead of regular dye because it can cause itch and stinging. Interested in getting the best outcome you can see? Wash hair with a product that has pure vegetable dye in it. Watch it help your hair get stronger.

We Just Want to Take Your Kid in this Shed and Teach Him About Jesus (by Some Clowns)

We Just Want to Take Your Kid in this Shed and Teach Him About Jesus (by Some Clowns)

Parents, listen: All we want to do when we try to catch your eye at the county fair is take your children into our semi-permanent shed-like structure and entertain them while teaching them about Jesus. Is that so bad? Is it really necessary to avert your gaze and pretend you’re in a hurry? Because we know you can see us, and we know you’re not in a hurry. We can read your lips when your child says, “Who’s that, Mama?” and you hiss through clenched teeth, “It’s nobody. Come on.”

Nobody? Hurtful. Clowns are people too, and when we see in your eyes the pure terror that’s driving you to tighten your grasp on your child’s hand and flee far the fuck away from our nightmarish faces and lame jokes, it hurts. Once we even saw a mother drop a funnel cake as she grabbed her stroller with both hands and broke into a run—and she didn’t come back for it. She was so repulsed by us that she was willing to let a mass of fried dough covered in powdered sugar languish in the grass. The day I saw someone drop a fried Oreo and not look back was the day I knew we clowns had serious PR problems.

Look, we know how the media depicts us, and it’s all wrong. Clowns as deranged murderers? You’re thinking of Pennywise, from Stephen King’s It. First of all, Pennywise is a fictional character. Second, he isn’t even a real clown. He’s merely one aspect of an interdimensional predatory life form, and he has no degree from an accredited clown college. And third, Pennywise does not know Jesus Christ. (Actually, we’re not totally sure about that; none of us has seen the movie, but Loopsy read the book back in her sinning days, and she says she’s almost 100% sure Pennywise has not dedicated his heart to the Lord.) What we’re saying is, real clowns aren’t killers. The only “killing” I’m doing is with my bit about Moses parting the Red Sea, featuring a half-torn “C” made out of red construction paper.

No child has ever been harmed during our presentations. Occasionally, kids cry over disturbing balloon animals that turn out not at all as expected. And there was that one time Buttons inadvertently spread lice by saying “Create in me, O Lord, a clean heart” and dusting a bunch of kindergarteners with a feather duster. But mostly what we spread is the Word of God.

So why won’t you give us a chance?

About Abby Byrd

Abby Byrd mothers, frets, writes, teaches, and corrects other people’s grammar in an undisclosed location on the East coast of the United States of America. Her work has appeared on Scary Mommy, BLUNTMoms, Mamalode, In The Powder Room, The Mid, and The Good Men Project, and in two anthologies. She is working on a memoir about her decade-long search for a partner and why correct use of the semicolon may not be the most important quality in a mate. Follow her on Twitter, on Facebook, and at her blog, Little Miss Perfect

Local School District Considers Structuring Classrooms By Weight

The Snooterson School District is considering a request by a local group of concerned mothers to separate students by weight.

Alyce Bryson, mother of two Helmsley Elementary students, said, “It’s not fair to our children to expect them to be bombarded with bad examples.” Bryson paused to smooth the hem of her tennis skirt. “My children work very hard to make good food choices and stay physically active. They understand that people who aren’t thin just aren’t as good as everyone else and have made it their passion to stay in top physical condition. How can they continue down the road to good health when they are surrounded by children whose parents don’t love them?”

When asked if she felt it was incendiary to suggest other parents don’t love their children, Bryson said, “It’s obvious, isn’t it? I mean, when you see children who are, well, I hesitate to use the word “fatties” because it’s just so hateful, but you know what I mean. A parent who loves their child would never allow their children to have over 8% body fat.We check body fat at our house every Tuesday and trust me, the kid who gets up to even 8.1% is going to lose their wheat grass smoothie treat for two weeks.”

When pressed to explain how the segregation would work, Bryson brightened and said, “We’ve found a way to make it fun for the kids. They’ll be in weight classes, like boxers. Kids like mine will be in a ‘featherweight’ room. Kids whose parents might love them but allow them occasional access to sugar and processed food will be in a ‘middleweight’ room. Children whose parents don’t love them, you know, the ones who eat fast food and have never run a single marathon, will be relegated to a ‘heavyweight’ room.”

Malissa Hurst, a neighbor of Ms. Bryson, added her take on the new classrooms. “I had no idea Alyce’s group was as straight up crazy as they are. First of all, this plan isn’t being implemented. The principal had to get a restraining order against Alyce and the only other people who still go to her meetings are her mother and her housekeeper who doesn’t speak English. I think she pays her housekeeper overtime to attend. Anyway, I dropped out of her group after the first meeting. She said it was a group dedicated to children’s health. Mostly, we had to listen to her talk incessantly about her kid’s grueling schedules. I warned her if she didn’t get the stick out of her ass that people would stop attending.”

When informed of Ms. Hurst’s comments, Ms Bryson retorted, “I DO have a stick up my ass when it comes to the issue of our children’s health. I have a huge, throbbing stick up my ass and I am proud of that stick. I believe in this. I am doing this for my children. I want them to be surrounded by the same beauty and dedication at school as they have at home. We all want is best for our children. I just don’t see how I could live with myself if I didn’t fight for this cause.”

Frank Johnson, Vice Principal at Helmsley Elementary declined to comment other than to dismiss Ms Bryson’s claim that her classroom by weight was being considered for implementation.

17079fc095d94d7e2fb86a9f8ea9ad8eAbout Michelle Poston Combs

Michelle Poston Combs can be found at her blog Rubber Shoes In Hell. Her work can also be found on The Huffington Post, Better After 50, The Mid and Scary Mommy. She had an essay in Jen Mann’s latest anthology, I Still Just Want To Pee Alone. She was also in the 2015 Indianapolis cast of Listen To Your Mother.

Women of the Shopping Center Discover New Splash Park Attraction

Women of the Shopping Center Discover New Splash Park Attraction

I have been treated and I wanted to share my good fortune. My most recent trip to the shopping center had me acquainted with these ass washers. Have you seen them? It has taken me a really long time to appreciate their special talents because I had assumed these bidet wannabes were asserting their authority when they flushed before I was ready. Now I know that the douchiest of all automation, the auto flush toilets, is what progress looks like.

The previous kick lever system was flawed. Sure, it always worked only when you wanted it to. Sure, it was also hands-free. But it wasn’t progress. We must move forward, ladies, because a man got involved to improve our lives.

I say it was a man because men wouldn’t dare flush. Men don’t even flush at home so that they don’t have to wash their hands. “Isn’t that someone’s job? I don’t want to take away someone’s job” was heard outside the men’s room shortly before his automation idea was flushed out.

So a man got involved and said to some automation asshole, “Can we just get the toilets to flush without us even thinking about it since our wives refuse to go in the men’s room after us?” Cue progress.

Now we have the automated toilet. They are environmentally friendly, we are told. They use less water so we all must get on board (or on seat). The automated porcelain ass holder I used today flushed once when I was mid-stream and treated me to an excrement shower, once when I was mid-wipe and once when I was putting my purse on my shoulder. Genius. I never had to see the water being used so it was clearly just a trickle each time. And since I am using one-ply, the double the tissue used to wipe my giant urine-splashed caboose is really just evening the score for all that two-ply I insist on at home.

The man says they are more hygienic. I have to say the bottom of my shoes have never looked cleaner! After I do the ‘I’m done dance’ in front of the sensor without luck, I press the button. Not with my foot but with an actual digit because the button is small. It is small enough to contain the fecal matter of all the previous coffee drinkers. But that is what the automated hand washers are for. Am I right?

That button sits atop the toilet and requires leaning over the bowl. If you can’t get the toilet to flush like a real man does by calling your wife and blaming the kids, this is your penance for being courteous. Just leave it, ladies. It will work eventually.

If you are busting and there is only ‘that stall’ open which requires a flush, you must hover over the giant fecal art display and hope that there is no shit shrapnel from doing your good deed. Who needs good deeds in the karma bank? If you are busting, just add to the display. That is what custodians are for. Really, do you want to take away a union job with all your do-gooding?

If women just behaved more like men in the toilet stall, we wouldn’t have any of these problems. If we stopped caring about cleanliness, other people, and earth-saving bullshit, then we wouldn’t need to worry if we had to float over the seat to avoid the splash back. We wouldn’t have to worry if the damn thing even flushed at all. The next in line wouldn’t care anyway. She should just be happy that she is not peeing in a hole like in Asia.

Next time you are at the shopping center, don’t forget to enjoy the splash park in the name of progress. After all, why should the kids have all the fun?

About Kristine Laco

Kristine Laco shares her stories at MumRevised.com with a splash of sarcasm and a pinch of bitch. She lives in the Toronto area and is a stay-at-home mother of two kids aged 14 and 12 and a fur-baby. Her middle finger is her favourite.

Oprah Returns To T.V. To Interview Mom Who’s Kids Actually Ate Dinner

Oprah:  (to camera) I am here with Darcy Roberts, stay-at-home-mom, who went into shock when her four children ate the dinner she cooked with no whining or complaining.  One of the children reportedly ate seconds.

Oprah:  (to Mrs. Roberts) Take us back to that moment when you knew that something very strange was going on.

Mrs. Roberts:  Well, I called everyone to the table and set out everyone’s plates just like any other dinnertime.  I braced myself for the whining, eye-rolling, the complaining that happens EVERY. SINGLE. NIGHT.  I mean, I really should be used to it by now, but I just keep holding out hope that one day…(trails off)

Oprah:  That day has come, Darcy. (pats Mrs. Robert’s hand)

Mrs. Roberts:  Yeah. So, anyway, I set everything out and, well, at first I kind of didn’t notice anything out of the ordinary because I had to get up from the table to get Stewart’s juice. I always forget SOMETHING and that night it was his juice. Oh, and then Priscilla asked for ketchup so I turned around to get that from the fridge.  So usually I sit and get about two bites in before Mimi starts asking for a peanut butter and jelly sandwich or an applesauce pouch or whatever she can negotiate for instead of eating what I cooked.

Oprah:  At what point were you aware that your children were actually eating, Mrs. Roberts?

Mrs. Roberts:  Right, so I actually got about three bites in–and THAT was its own miracle, you know?–when I realized that the dog was whining.  Now this was unusual because normally Edmond will feed him something from his plate almost immediately.  Once I realized that the dog was whining, I looked up from my plate and that’s when I kind of went numb.

Oprah:  Tell us what you saw, Mrs. Roberts.

Mrs. Roberts:  They were eating. They were eating dinner.  MY KIDS were eating their dinner.  No one was whining or complaining. I mean, Priscilla wanted ketchup, but she eats ketchup on everything, I mean, the girl dips her grapes in it for crying out loud–

Oprah:  So how did you feel when you realized what was happening?

Mrs. Roberts:  How did I feel?  I didn’t know what to feel.  I mean, I just didn’t feel anything.  I’m always so ready to just fight the battle, you know?  I always feel so wound up sitting down at the table, ready to battle it out over green beans and baked chicken.

Oprah:  I understand.  I think every mom in America understands your frustration.

Mrs. Roberts:  I couldn’t believe my eyes. And the craziest thing was that it was a casserole! A CASSEROLE! There was meat and vegetables and SAUCE! I mean my Mimi was eating food smothered in sauce!

Oprah:  Mrs. Roberts, we’ve heard that one of your children asked for seconds. Talk about that.

Mrs. Roberts:  Yes! Yes! My oldest boy, Edmond, asked for seconds. That’s when I started crying. He’s a growing boy, but I couldn’t pay him to eat second of anything. I mean literally, I’ve tried bribing him with money and trips to the toy store.  He’d rather starve!

Oprah:  Where was Mr. Roberts when this was happening?

Mrs. Roberts:  He was working late that evening. He got home right about the time the kids finished reading and asked to be excused. He found me standing at kitchen counter crying into the casserole.  But I assure you, Miss Winfrey, those were years of joy. Tears of joy.

Oprah:  Thank you, Darcy, for sharing your heartwarming story with us. It certainly gives hope to all the other mothers out there, but I would be remiss if I didn’t ask the burning question that every mom in America wants to know:  What was that recipe?

About Melanie Madamba

Melanie Madamba is The NotsoSuperMom: forever nerd, mother of three, and coffee addict. Not to be confused with a Super Mom or anyone else who seems to have it together. She writes to escape the laundry and to pretend someone is listening to her. If you are trying to avoid your laundry, you can kill some time checking her out on Facebook, Pinterest or the Twitter.

Casual Cool Ways to Wear Your Cat This Fall

Casual Cool Ways to Wear Your Cat This Fall

The leaves are changing and there’s a chill in the air. It’s the perfect time to cozy up to a feline companion, stroke him soothingly, and then drape him over your neck like a scarf. If Mr. Jingles proves cooperative, you can even wear him as a hat.

Cat-wearing is trending for fall and we’ve got the skinny on how to wear your kitty that’ll give new meaning to the term catwalk.

Get the look:

At work, jazz up that A-line skirt and crew-neck sweater by wearing a cat as a collar. Tip: Make sure you use a cat that matches your sweater. The hot guy one cubicle over doesn’t need to know you’re covered in cat hair and no one looks sexy rolling herself down with a lint brush.

At play, pair your cat with a tweed jacket and low-slung jeans. You’ll look effortless, savvy, and sporty, with just the right note of casual sophistication. Meow!

At the big game, top those red cords with an ombre blouse in dusty gold and burnt copper. Finish the look by tucking a football under one arm and an orange longhair named Marmalade under the other. Rawr, team!

For day into night cats, pair black knit with white silk. Before heading out after work, don a boho chic mid-length coat with oversize pockets holding two Siamese cats named Jay and Daisy.

Does your tomcat like to prowl? For the pussy who loves to perambulate, try gaucho pants and a Nehru jacket. Le chat? Your hat.

Want even more international flair? You’ll be catnip wearing a striped bandeau over matador pants. Un gato? Le chapeau.

Flabby tabby? Still look fabby. Snuggle Nacho in your cowl-neck sweater and wear over skinny jeans for a surprisingly slimming effect. Purrfection!

And finally, don’t be afraid to mix and match patterns. Argyle socks, a plaid skirt, and a herringbone sweater. Complete the look with a tortoiseshell cat named Mittens under your arm. For a touch more whimsy, try animal prints—tiger stripes!—and wear them with a tie-dye shirt covered with trippy-looking outer space cats. To take it up a notch, add a zip-up hoodie and stuff it with a litter of newborn kittens.

From street style to the catwalk, this is the look every cool cat craves for fall. Grab your kitty and get on trend. Right meow!

About E. R. Catalano

E. R. Catalano is a writer and mother of one evil mastermind living in Brooklyn, NY. She blogs about her daughter at Zoe vs. the Universe. She is a contributor to The Bigger Book of Parenting Tweets, and her humorous essays have appeared on Scary Mommy, In the Powder Room, and HaHas for Hoohahs. You can follow her on Twitter and on Facebook.

Should I Be Teaching My Daughter To Knit With Her Vagina? (And Other Questions)

Dear Fellow Next-Generation Feminists,

I am but a branch in a long line of feminists on my family tree. I was raised by a feminist, as was my mother before me, and I am proud to be raising three feminists of my own– I have two daughters and one son. However, in light of recent newsworthy events being done in our name, I fear that I am feministing wrong. I could use your help with two scenarios which seemed fairly straightforward to me until recently.

This is the first: My six-year-old daughter recently began learning to knit at school and she seems to be enjoying it immensely. She is even planning on knitting Christmas gifts for a few family members. I was thrilled to hear of her newfound hobby as it is the source of much pride and joy for her. However, upon learning about a woman in Australia who uses her vagina to knit as part of a feminist performance art piece, I immediately became distraught. Here I had thought that my budding little Susan B. Anthony had found a hobby to use as a creative outlet and to develop her fine-motor skills, when, in fact, she had fallen victim to the patriarchy of the knitting needle industry.

So, tell me, should I demand that the teacher demonstrate proper vagina-knitting technique to my little one, thus ensuring that she does not grow up ashamed of her beautiful, built-in knit-and-purl machine? Would it be advisable for the teacher to follow the artist’s lead and use her menstrual excretions as part of her classroom modeling? Or should my daughter not be knitting at all before puberty as her vagina is not yet capable of the wondrous things that yours and mine are such as childbirth and cooking?

My second predicament arose after I learned of another brave woman who ran an entire marathon without using a tampon even though she was menstruating at the time. The phenomenon was referred to as “free bleeding.” I brushed aside my instinctive concerns about hygiene and blood-born pathogens and began wondering if I, too, was sending the wrong message to my infant daughter by forcing her to wear diapers against her will. I thought that I had her best interests at heart, as well as those of others around her, by containing her waste matter and disposing of it in a timely fashion, but now I am not so sure.

My question to you is, are there free-peeing groups that I can join or should I consider starting one of my own? How would you suggest explaining this practice to less enlightened family members, grocery store patrons, and similar? I want my baby to understand that the processes of urination and defecation are perfectly natural and nothing to be ashamed of, but my mother keeps bringing up things like “hygiene” and “common decency.” She just doesn’t get it. She can’t see that we are continuing the hard work of her generation and of those before her. I guess that passing the torch is never easy.

Thank you in advance for any guidance that you can provide in these areas. I may not understand those who do outrageous acts in the name of feminism, but I am always open to learning. Happily though, I can report that I do not anticipate any respect issues by my son with regards to his sisters’ bodies. I spent the last three nights forming their fecal matter into Lego-shaped blocks in hopes of removing the stigma that is so often given to bowel movements. He is blissfully building away as we speak– no anal-shaming here! Whew!

Looking forward to the day when we can all vomit in public without fear of retribution,

Leslie

About Leslie Gaar

Leslie Gaar is a part-time SAHM of three, former bilingual educator, current blogger, and perpetual smart ass. Mostly the last one. She’s blogs at www.pailsandfires.com, and has been featured on Scary Mommy,TODAY Parents, and Club Mid. Find her on Facebook and Twitter.