Oprah Returns To T.V. To Interview Mom Who’s Kids Actually Ate Dinner

Oprah:  (to camera) I am here with Darcy Roberts, stay-at-home-mom, who went into shock when her four children ate the dinner she cooked with no whining or complaining.  One of the children reportedly ate seconds.

Oprah:  (to Mrs. Roberts) Take us back to that moment when you knew that something very strange was going on.

Mrs. Roberts:  Well, I called everyone to the table and set out everyone’s plates just like any other dinnertime.  I braced myself for the whining, eye-rolling, the complaining that happens EVERY. SINGLE. NIGHT.  I mean, I really should be used to it by now, but I just keep holding out hope that one day…(trails off)

Oprah:  That day has come, Darcy. (pats Mrs. Robert’s hand)

Mrs. Roberts:  Yeah. So, anyway, I set everything out and, well, at first I kind of didn’t notice anything out of the ordinary because I had to get up from the table to get Stewart’s juice. I always forget SOMETHING and that night it was his juice. Oh, and then Priscilla asked for ketchup so I turned around to get that from the fridge.  So usually I sit and get about two bites in before Mimi starts asking for a peanut butter and jelly sandwich or an applesauce pouch or whatever she can negotiate for instead of eating what I cooked.

Oprah:  At what point were you aware that your children were actually eating, Mrs. Roberts?

Mrs. Roberts:  Right, so I actually got about three bites in–and THAT was its own miracle, you know?–when I realized that the dog was whining.  Now this was unusual because normally Edmond will feed him something from his plate almost immediately.  Once I realized that the dog was whining, I looked up from my plate and that’s when I kind of went numb.

Oprah:  Tell us what you saw, Mrs. Roberts.

Mrs. Roberts:  They were eating. They were eating dinner.  MY KIDS were eating their dinner.  No one was whining or complaining. I mean, Priscilla wanted ketchup, but she eats ketchup on everything, I mean, the girl dips her grapes in it for crying out loud–

Oprah:  So how did you feel when you realized what was happening?

Mrs. Roberts:  How did I feel?  I didn’t know what to feel.  I mean, I just didn’t feel anything.  I’m always so ready to just fight the battle, you know?  I always feel so wound up sitting down at the table, ready to battle it out over green beans and baked chicken.

Oprah:  I understand.  I think every mom in America understands your frustration.

Mrs. Roberts:  I couldn’t believe my eyes. And the craziest thing was that it was a casserole! A CASSEROLE! There was meat and vegetables and SAUCE! I mean my Mimi was eating food smothered in sauce!

Oprah:  Mrs. Roberts, we’ve heard that one of your children asked for seconds. Talk about that.

Mrs. Roberts:  Yes! Yes! My oldest boy, Edmond, asked for seconds. That’s when I started crying. He’s a growing boy, but I couldn’t pay him to eat second of anything. I mean literally, I’ve tried bribing him with money and trips to the toy store.  He’d rather starve!

Oprah:  Where was Mr. Roberts when this was happening?

Mrs. Roberts:  He was working late that evening. He got home right about the time the kids finished reading and asked to be excused. He found me standing at kitchen counter crying into the casserole.  But I assure you, Miss Winfrey, those were years of joy. Tears of joy.

Oprah:  Thank you, Darcy, for sharing your heartwarming story with us. It certainly gives hope to all the other mothers out there, but I would be remiss if I didn’t ask the burning question that every mom in America wants to know:  What was that recipe?

About Melanie Madamba

Melanie Madamba is The NotsoSuperMom: forever nerd, mother of three, and coffee addict. Not to be confused with a Super Mom or anyone else who seems to have it together. She writes to escape the laundry and to pretend someone is listening to her. If you are trying to avoid your laundry, you can kill some time checking her out on Facebook, Pinterest or the Twitter.

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